Walking In Obedience: Another Choice
Many years ago I accepted Christ as my Savior. At the time I did not really understand what that would mean and the great upheaval it would bring to my life. I was attracted to women and struggled to reconcile this attraction with my new life in Christ.
Through many learning experiences I learned that the Lord is faithful and His Word that He will conform us to the Image of His Son is a promise to rely on. His love burned away the old, and enabled something new to spring to life.
My Mission is to help those interested in 'Giving up that which they cannot hope to keep, to gain that which they cannot lose.' After Being Born Again it is possible to make a choice to be free. Another Choice.
The sun shone through the window and touched my face. I turned over on my side to escape it's probing light. It was July 1976. I got up, and making some coffee I carried it to the window. Sitting at the table I listened to the birds whistling and singing as they foraged for food, a scene that was peaceful and serene. I turned away and sighed deeply. I felt anything but peaceful.
For the last few days, I had been reviewing my life, and it left me feeling sad and disconcerted. I was thirty-four years old, and my life was in shambles. At the age of 23 years I had accepted Christ as my personal Savior and in spite of following the Lord I had become entangled with a homosexual relationship. When it was over I realized that I really loved the Lord and I wanted to have Him first in my life.
I reflected on the direction my life had taken and I felt sad and lonely. I was isolated, afraid, and tired of my conflict. I was struggling with homosexuality and I could not discuss it with anyone it, was a taboo subject, at least in Christian circles.
On a whim I decided to go to a local Christian Bookstore. I liked to go there when I felt depressed. Soft music played as I browsed the shelves. The quiet atmosphere relaxed me and I felt peaceful for the first time in a long time. Scanning the bookshelves I noticed a book called "The Third Sex ". I picked it up and turned it over, I could not believe the contents. It dealt with people like me.
I suppressed my excitement and buying the book, I hurried home. I was elated here was a book that could shed some light on my struggle. I read the interesting and familiar stories of others like me that had left a homosexual lifestyle to walk with the Lord. I was gratified that other s were convicted of the truth that had been convicting me so long, even before I read a Bible. The truth that homosexuality is a sin.
I finished the book and noted the author lived in San Rafael, and he was a counselor connected to a support group for people coming out of homosexuality. I had wrestled with myself for so long and here at last was someone who not only understood my problem but also wrote about it. I desperately wanted to speak to the author so with trembling hands I picked up the phone and called the Rev Kent Philpot. Twenty-four hours later I was on a plane heading for San Rafael. An interview with the Kent Philpot was scheduled, and I was excited but apprehensive. A young man wearing glasses shook my hand." I am Kent"; he smiled, and beckoned me in to his office. "Well what can I help you with?" I gulped, and launched into my story. He listened quietly until I finished. "Well Veronica there are a lot of people who have come out of the Gay lifestyle and they are struggling just as you are. The Lord can use your experience in reaching out to them.
I was amazed to hear that my disobedience to the Lord's Will was forgiven and He could still use me to reach others with the Gospel. I was reaffirmed and encouraged that in spite of my past failures the Lord would use me.
The full story of that interview is recorded in the book "Gay Theology".
I continued my struggle to bring my life into line with what I felt it meant to be a disciple of Christ. Many times I surrendered to the struggle, and would fall flat on my face, but a gentle hand would pick me up and reassure me "I have loved you with an everlasting love." Jeremiah 31:3.
I have been free for fifteen years now. I no longer struggle with sexual orientation. I walk with the Lord day by day, and His love has enabled me to persist on the path of discipleship, with a joy that nothing can ever change or take away.
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